Teens & Social Media
Adolescents are living in the world of technology. Social media is part of their lives. Teens use it to communicate, express, and entertain themselves. Research has identified that it can also create stress, especially for adolescents. Teens have stated they compare themselves to others on social media, have witnessed bullying or experienced it directly, or get caught up and spend too much time in their digital worlds. We often say, “Get off of it” or “unplug”, which is good advice, but we want to teach our teens resiliency and ADAPT skills within social media. Socializing is important to adolescents as they are figuring out their identities. Teens do this through social connections and engaging with peers appropriately. Teaching our teens to build healthy relationships while recognizing appropriate social media use is a way to support safe and healthy development.
According to Columbia University Irving Medical Center, around 12 and a half years old is the average age when a child opens a social media account. Research shows that the more time spent on social media, the more likely a person will experience mental health symptoms like anxiety, isolation, and hopelessness. According to one recent study, high levels of social media use over four years were associated with increased depression among middle and high schoolers (Columbia Medical).
As guardians, we need to understand the vulnerable brain of adolescents as it usually starts before puberty, around age 10, and lasts through early adulthood. This is a critical part of development where the brain undergoes many changes and self-control is not fully developed until early adulthood.
Please consider the following tips as you navigate social media guidelines in your family:
Set the boundaries and be consistent. Talk to your teen about limits on devices including family routines, time limits, homework, and other expectations. Incorporate a bedtime routine that disconnects from electronic media use and keeps cellphones and tablets out of teens' bedrooms.
Create a plan with your teen about which apps are appropriate and which are not. Communicate what is appropriate for your teen to have and set limits. Start slow and add apps as trust is built.
Set an example. Be a role model by following these rules yourself. Teens learn by example, if you are not following the expectations you’ve set, it can be challenging for teens to limit their use as well. Encourage face-to-face interaction with family and friends.
Monitor your teen's accounts. Let your teenager know that you'll be regularly checking social media accounts. Make sure you follow through.
Teach your teen about potential risks. Talk to your teen about what is appropriate and safe to share on social media. Discourage your teen from gossiping, spreading rumors, bullying, damaging someone's reputation, and taking videos/pictures of others without permission. Educate them about the consequences of negative use and talk to a safe adult if exposed to unsafe things online.
Keep the communication open. Talking to children and teens about social media isn’t a one-time conversation. Ask your teen about social media use and the feelings it brings. Active parenting is important in helping our teens build resiliency and life skills. Help your teen describe their thoughts and feelings and use healthy coping skills when feelings have been influenced by others.
Be alert for changes in behavior and offer to talk. Social media can have a big impact on teens. Look for changes in behavior. Is there a change in your teen’s mood or sleeping/eating habits? When asking your teen about changes, use “I” statements rather than “you” statements which can sound blaming. For example, rather than saying “You are on Tik Tok too much,” try “I have noticed you have been irritable, and I am worried about you, can we talk about it?” Your teen may not want to talk at the moment, but they will know you have noticed they are struggling and may come to talk to you later. Keep the lines of communication open and listen.
Reach out for help. You are NOT alone. If you or someone you love is experiencing a crisis or reporting a suicide plan online, call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling/texting 988; or the Cincinnati Children’s Psychiatric Intake Referral line at 513-636-4124.
Written by: Cassandra Stroop, LSW
References
Is Social Media Threatening Teens’ Mental Health and Well-being? (nyp.org)Links to an external site.