ADAPT with Social Media
Adolescents are living in the world of technology. Social media is part of their lives. Teens use it to communicate, express, and entertain themselves. Research has identified that it can also create stress, especially for adolescents. Teens have stated that they compare themselves to others, have been bullied or witnessed bullying, or spend too much time on social media. We often say, "Get off of it" or "unplug," which is good advice, but we want to teach our teens resiliency and ADAPT skills with social media. Socializing is essential to adolescents as they are figuring out their identities. Teens do this by social connections and socializing appropriately. Teaching our teens to have healthy relationships while recognizing appropriate social media use is a way to help them navigate social media use.
According to Columbia University Irving Medical Center, 12.5 years is the average age when a child opens a social media account. Research shows that the more time spent on social media, the more likely a person will experience mental health symptoms like anxiety, isolation, and hopelessness. According to one recent study, high levels of social media use over four years were associated with increased depression among middle and high schoolers (Columbia Medical).
As guardians, we need to understand the vulnerable brain of adolescents as it usually starts before puberty, around age 10, and lasts through early adulthood. This growth is a critical part of development, during which the brain undergoes many changes, and self-control is not fully developed. As you navigate social media guidelines in your family as your children mature, here are some tips:
Set the expectations and be consistent. Talk to your teen about expectations with devices - at home or the homes of others, meals, time limits, homework, and other expectations. Incorporate a bedtime routine that disconnects from electronic media use and keeps cellphones and tablets out of teens' bedrooms.
Create a plan with your teen about what apps are appropriate and what is not. Communicate what is appropriate for your teen and set limits. Start slow and add apps as trust builds.
Set an example by following these rules yourself. Teens learn by example. If you are not following your expectations, it can be challenging for teens to limit their use as well. Encourage face-to-face interaction with family and friends.
Monitor your teen's accounts. Let your teenager know you'll regularly check their social media accounts. Make sure you follow through.
Educate your teens on social media use. Plan to talk to your teen about what is appropriate and safe to share on social media. Discourage your teen from gossiping, spreading rumors, bullying, damaging someone's reputation, and taking videos/pictures of others without permission. Educate them about the consequences of harmful use and talk to a safe adult if exposed to unsafe things online.
Keep the communication open. Talking to children and teens about social media is more than a one-time conversation. Ask your teen how they use social media and how it makes them feel. Active parenting is essential and helps our teens build resiliency and skills. Help your teen describe their thoughts and feelings, specifically with social media.
Recognize any changes in behavior and offer to talk. Reach out for help if you or someone else needs it.
Social media can affect our teens. Look at changes in behavior, "Is their behavior different than their normal?" Is your teen eating/sleeping/acting differently? When talking with your teen, use "I" statements vs. "You" statements. An example is, "You are on TikTok too much. You could try "I have noticed you have been irritable, and I am worried about you. Can we talk about it?" Your teens may not want to talk now, but they will recognize you have noticed they are struggling and may come to speak to you later. Keep the lines of communication open and listen.
If you or someone you love is experiencing a crisis online, call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling/texting 988.
Written by: Cassandra Stroop, LSW, AFL Facilitator
Reference: Is Social Media Threatening Teens’ Mental Health and Well-being? (nyp.org)Links to an external site.